Monday, February 1, 2010

Home Sweet Home: In Crisis

Wow, the beginning of another book!  We've been so blessed by going through these books and discussing them on this blog, we hope you have been as well!  If you are joining, we hope you enjoy this new book....Making Brothers and Sister's Best Friends by Sarah, Stephen and Grace Mally. 

Why Your Own Family is Often Your Biggest Struggle

6 Reasons for Family Conflict:
#1. False Concepts
#2. Bitterness
#3. Higher Expectations of Our Family
#4. Lower Expectations of Ourselves
#5. Distractions
#6. Hidden Enemy Influences

"Sometimes you are helpless the only solution is to be rescued.  You can't do it by yourself."
~Making Brothers and Sisters Best Friends  (p. 18)

Let's start out facing the truth......home is one of the most difficult places to get along with everyone.   There have definately been times where I need rescuing.  Sure there may be days where everyone gets along beautifully, but others are just horrible.  I'm saying this from experience.  I personally live in a home with many siblings and sometimes they are often changing.  Last year our family decided to take in foster children and since then we've had a total of 6 different kids in our home.  On top of that I have 3 biological siblings and two adopted!  We definitely don't always get along. 

I will say that I am very blessed to have my closest sibling in age as my best friend.  Pretty much we never argue and if we do, it's rarely serious.  However.....there are others in the family....that I may not get along with the greatest.  This first chapter that we are reading today points us out.  We have a serious problem and we'd better get to the bottom of things before it's too late.  

I'm going to just really quick talk through the 6 reasons for family conflicts.  #1.  False Concepts.  If we believe that there are problems with everyone else and we are absolutely fine, that is a false concept.  Maybe you believe that nothing is ever going to change in your relationship with your siblings.  Either way, it's all false and can be overcome.  #2. Bitterness.  Did a brother or sister do something to you once that you just CANNOT forgive them for?  Remember to forgive others as Christ has forgiven you.  #3. Higher expectations of our family.  We expect our family to just naturally love, accept and care for us.  Maybe they do, but they don't have all the time in the world for us.  We've gotta accept that.  #4. Lower expectations of ourselves.  This is so true and it's kinda scary.  You know that thing called peer pressure?  That's going to get the best of us one day.  We are so nice to our friends and those outside of the home but can be nasty and difficult at home.  Come on everyone, we gotta buck up and have higher expectations of ourselves at home.  #5. Distractions.  Let's just start a list.....Computers, cell phones, texting, video games, sports, books, friends, work, etc.  Hidden Enemy Influences.  This is the biggy!  Satan hates a good strong family and he's going to work as hard as he can to rip them apart.  Fight that good fight and show the Devil who's in charge (God).  Stand up for Jesus!


"From the beginning, Satan has tried to undermine and destroy God's plan. A godly family has much potential for the Lord. The enemy knows this and works very hard to destroy families. He has many lies, snares, and strategies. The world is also working against us. We are surrounded by influences and teachings which do not encourage relationships in the family." Pg. 16

Getting along with a sibling(s) can be a real challenge, can't it? My twin and I get along VERY well and hardly ever misunderstand each other. My 3 little sisters are easy as pie to get along with 1. because they're SO cute! and 2. they're not old enough to talk back...
It is my three "middle" siblings that I need to work on being a best friend to, and it's often a big challenge for me. I find that one of my biggest mistakes, is that I have very high expectations that I want to see from them, and it often just sets them up for failure. Those high expectations frustrate them and a fight starts.

This week I am working on having high expectations for MYSELF, and to encourage others!

Stephen's Definitions:
Brother - A practically perfect person who helps his sisters learn character.
Book - A random selection of words compiled to make a point that some people may not like.
Expectations - An idea that you hope someone will do at a certain time, in a certain place, to a certain person, in order to benefit you in a certain way.
Patience - A character quality which children under five instinctively aim to develop in those around them.
Home - A place where yo ucan say what you think, but no one listens.
Friends - People who usually have the same virtues, the same enemies, or the same faults.
Family Trees - They seem to produce a variety of nuts.

Do you have a problem with getting along with your siblings?  How has this chapter encouraged you?  We love to hear your thoughts!

In Christ,
~Bethany and Jenna~


Kelsey Anne Hoppman said...

Getting along with siblings can be a challenge sometimes! I get along well with all my seven siblings most of the time, but sometimes I am bossy towards the younger ones. Not a good trait for a young lady to have! As you mentioned Jenna, it's pretty easy for me to get along with my two sisters, Mykaela, and Keturah. I get along well with Micah, Josiah and Josh but it is those two "middle Siblings" that are tough not to boss around. I really am blessed though with the wonderful relationship I have with each and every one of them! I hope it grows even better.
God Bless,

Jessica Faith said...

very awesome you guys!! just want to let you know how much this blog blesses me (and your other blogs too =D)

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