Wednesday, November 4, 2009

I Kissed Dating Goodbye; Chapter 2

We realized this morning that Bethany has the Original copy (1997) of IKDG and we have the Updated copy of IKDG (2003). Bethany just posted a schedule to follow down on the side bar so that you know what to read for whichever copy that you have.
For today we're going to comment on:
Chapter 2 ~ The Little Relationship Principle in the Updated Version.
The Joy of Intimacy is the Reward of Commitment

Josh:
"Deepening intimacy without defining a level of commitment is dangerous. It's like going mountain climbing with a partner who isn't sure she wants the responsibility of holding your rope. When you've climbed 2000 feet up a mountain face, you don't want to have a conversation about how she feels "tied down" by your relationship. In the same way, many people experience deep hurt when they open themselves up emotionally and physically only to be abandoned by someone who proclaims he's not ready for a "serious commitment".

Why would you want to give yourself and your emotions to someone who isn't seriously commited? So many people give themselves away for temporary "pleasure" of intimacy, but result in being hurt and scarred - for life, by a mutual lack of commitment. I don't have alot to say on this quote, but I think that it speaks for itself. "The Joy of Intimacy is the Reward of Commitment".

Jenna:

Like Josh Harris said, recreational dating is selfishness. Commitment isn't there, but the selfishness is. What is good for me, what gives me "thrills" and pleasure? What gives me the kind of intimacy that I want? Yes, dating is [usually] all about self (me, me, me) and worldly pleasure. There is no regarding purity and looking out for others needs.

"We pursue romantic relationships for the sake of romance, for a good time, for the sake of the experience, for the sake of figuring out what we'll one day want when we got around to actually committing to one person." pg. 31

"The issue is whether the intimacy in your relationship is appropriate to your current level of commitment".

Does our intimacy match our level of commitment?

12 comments:

Riah said...

"The joy of intimacy is the reward of commitment."
I love the "Little Relationship Principle". Though I have always known that intimacy and commitment should go hand-in-hand, I have never heard it put so well.
About the hurtful side of recreational dating... I have seen it happen so many times with lots of the teens I know. They are so happy when they first start a new relationship and they think he/she could be "the one", just to find out a few months later that the person wasn't what they expected them to be. They end up hurt and angry. I think it is so sad. It just goes to prove that non-commitment relationships are not only hurtful to your fellowship with God, but to your emotional well being

-Riah

Riah said...

Hey,
I am giving ya'll the "Favorite Blog" award.

-Riah

Kyleigh said...

I love this book, I read it about a year ago and need to read it again!

Your question sums everything up very well, Jenna - "Does our intimacy match our level of commitment?"
And in recreational dating, not only is it not looking to the needs of others, but its purpose is not ultimately to glorify God.

Thanks for sharing! I look forward to hearing y'all's thoughts on the rest of the chapters!
Kyleigh

Eldarwen Failariel said...

Jenna, I have started reading along with you (and Josh and Bethany) and I love this book! (oops, I'm glad my mother won't be reading this comment because she'll get onto me for using so many "and's" in just one sentence).

Great posts! Can't wait to read more of them!! :D

~Eldarwen Failariel~

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