"Deepening intimacy without defining a level of commitment is dangerous. It's like going mountain climbing with a partner who isn't sure she wants the responsibility of holding your rope. When you've climbed 2000 feet up a mountain face, you don't want to have a conversation about how she feels "tied down" by your relationship. In the same way, many people experience deep hurt when they open themselves up emotionally and physically only to be abandoned by someone who proclaims he's not ready for a "serious commitment".
Why would you want to give yourself and your emotions to someone who isn't seriously commited? So many people give themselves away for temporary "pleasure" of intimacy, but result in being hurt and scarred - for life, by a mutual lack of commitment. I don't have alot to say on this quote, but I think that it speaks for itself. "The Joy of Intimacy is the Reward of Commitment".
Like Josh Harris said, recreational dating is selfishness. Commitment isn't there, but the selfishness is. What is good for me, what gives me "thrills" and pleasure? What gives me the kind of intimacy that I want? Yes, dating is [usually] all about self (me, me, me) and worldly pleasure. There is no regarding purity and looking out for others needs.
"We pursue romantic relationships for the sake of romance, for a good time, for the sake of the experience, for the sake of figuring out what we'll one day want when we got around to actually committing to one person." pg. 31
"The issue is whether the intimacy in your relationship is appropriate to your current level of commitment".
Does our intimacy match our level of commitment?