Finding the Root Problem
My Dad always says, "The issue is not really the real issue." For instance, when one sibling says something that hurts another siblings feelings, the hurt sibling may go and yell at another sibling because of t. The issue then seems to be the one yelling at the other, however it really has more to do with the one sibling hurting the feelings of another sibling.
These issues should not be addressed in any other way that with forgiveness. This is the ONLY way that is really going to work to get everyone on the same path again. Humble yourself and ask forgiveness of the one you have hurt. If you don't get to the root of things now, it's going to get worse and worse.
3 Keys to Forgiveness
1. Remember that God has forgiven us, so we should forgive others as well.
2. Remember that people are like little lambs. May do not have the teaching and leading of a good shepherd. That is why, when Jesus was suffering on the cross, He said about those who had mocked, ridiculed and tortured Him unjustly, "Father forgive them; for they know not what they do. (Luke 23:34)
3. Remember to ask God why He let this unjustice happen. These reasons may include:
a) It is a test from God.
b) It is a temptation from Satan.
c) It is an assignment from God.
d) It is a souce of unseen benefits which God want to give us in an unusual way.
As we search for the "unwanted strangers" in our lives and sibling relationships, we have to humble ourselves as we peel away each layer of our heart. Let me be painfully honest here, I have a hard time searching out problems in my life. It is a pride issue (that I AM dealing with.), and when I am proud or haughty, it is impossible to HONESTLY evaluate my rights and wrongs.
Getting rid of all pride and sin is hard...it's painful...it's humbling and it is FREEING! Pride is such an issue in most sibling relationships...I deal with it every day.
Ask yourself these questions as you search and pray:
- Have I hurt them through unkind words or actions?
- Have I lied to them or stolen from them?
- Have I made fun of them or teased them? Especially in front of my friends? Or their friends?
- Have I neglected to do something that they were expecting from me?
- Have I been hard to please?
- Have I been angry with them or lost my temper?
- Have I been insensitive to their feelings?
- Have I treated them unjustly in any way?
- Have I put my own friends and priorities ahead of them?
- Have I gossiped against them?
- Have I caused frustration by not noticing or praising them?
- Have I had a competitive spirit against them?
- Have I failed to fulfill something I said I would do?
- Have I ignored them with an attitude of unconcern?
If there was a circumstance that came to your mind while you meditated on those questions - that you never addressed, ask forgiveness for it. Your sibling will be blessed by your humility. They will follow your own example, especially if you are older.
~Bethany and Jenna~