Wednesday, November 11, 2009

I Kissed Dating Goodbye; The Right Thing at the Wrong Time is the Wrong Thing


So has Joshua Harris been saying that Dating is wrong? I don't think so. Not if it is a committed, true love based relationship....and if it comes at the right time. Today, dating begins way too early in life. When my then 5 year old foster brother came home on the first day of school, one of the first things he says...."I've got a girlfriend". Kindergarten, and they are already using that term. Sure, at that age they aren't really "dating", but it makes them begin to think about it and prepares them for "the real thing" later on. The paragraph I am quoting, (I thought), was very thought provoking.

"Our "do it all now" mentality has tremendously affected the timing of today's dating relationships. Kids involve themselves in dating and even sexual relationships at an increasingly young age. As young people rusy prematurely into these adults activities, most of their elders to little to correct them. After all, what can adults say when they live by the same "grab it all now" attitude?"


The last 2 paragraphs in this chapter really stuck out to me today.

"Do you believe that God knows best? Then place your life's calendar at His feet and allow Him to handle the scheduling of your relationships. Trust Him even if it means not dating when other people think you should. When God knows you're ready for the responsibility of commitment, He'll reveal the right person under the right circumstances.
"For I know the plans I have for you," God says, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11"
Let's live our today's for His kingdom and entrust our tomorrows to His providence.
We couldn't lay our futures in better hands. All we have to do is trust."

Yes, I believe that God knows best and I also believe that HE has my life all planned out for me in a most wonderful way that I could never imagine...trusting HIM with timing is hard, but HIS plan is perfect and the best way for us. Imagine for a moment that you were impatient and rushed a relationship that wasn't God's will for awful. Let's all trust God and His plan! Let's remember to live today for His kingdom and leave the tomorrows to Him!!


"God has a perfect plan for your life. More than likely, that plan includes marriage, if so, somewhere in this world God has the perfect plan for you. You may or may not know this person right now. If you spend all your time and energy trying to hunt this person down or (if you have already found this person) trying to contain him or her until you can marry, you might actually do that person a disservice." Pg. 79

It is true! God HAS a plan for all of our lives. We need to trust that He will, in His timing, reveal it to us. Also, if we spend all our time dreaming about Prince Charming(girls) or our Princess(guys), first, are we trusting God to bring things together, or are we discontent with where God has us at the moment? Second, When we fill our head with longings for a future lover, we become sidetracked from serving God and trusting in Him to guide us.

What were you blessed by out of this chapter?


Kelsey Anne Hoppman said...

In response to what Bethany wrote, I think the reason that you don't have to be against dating but against the way it's done is because it depends on your definition. I prefer to say I will court, not date, but some people could court in the way others date! It depends if the way you go about it is in a godly fashion, not the way of the "world.”

Great post all of you! I'm looking forward to reading this book. :)

God Bless,


Costume Queen said...

Fabulous notes! I recently wrote a (relatively) short article about Christian dating. You can read it here:

And my other dating article, "How to Spot a Christian Guy" is here:

Also, as an individual seeking to fashion your life after Jesus Christ, you might be interested in participating in the event, "14 Days of Thankfulness." I am hosting this two-week event through my blog, Untraveled Path ( You can read more about it on this page:

I hope you will join me in celebrating Thanksgiving by counting the blessings God has given!

If you personally cannot participate, I would appreciate it if you would spread the word about the event! =)